The Rented Lambo Is Parked Outside. Nobody Lives Here.

Let’s talk about the jet.

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Not a real jet. The fake one. The studio in Los Angeles — and yes, it is an actual studio, with actual fake plane windows and cabin lighting and little tray tables — that influencers rent by the hour to film content pretending they’re flying private. You can book it online. Prices vary. The dream, apparently, does not.

This is where we are.

There is an entire economy built around the performance of wealth. Not the building of it. Not the having of it. The looking like you have it — specifically so that people who want it will pay you for the secret. The secret being, of course, that you don’t have it either. You have a ring light, a good angle, and absolutely no shame.

Influencers are misleading followers into thinking they’re living a life of unrealistic prosperity by renting Lamborghinis by the day, posing in fake private jet studios, and manufacturing an image of wealth they cannot actually sustain. And it works. Chronically. Because we were taught that success looks a certain way, and someone figured out that if you just look that way, people will assume the rest.

The playbook is not complicated. Post lifestyle content showing wealth and success. Offer free webinars or content to build trust. Then pressure people to buy expensive courses or join exclusive programs. Then encourage those buyers to become affiliates and recruit others. It’s a funnel dressed in designer. A pyramid scheme with better lighting.

And the money? The money is real. It’s just not coming from the business they’re selling you. It’s coming from you.

Jay Mazini was once a popular Instagram influencer handing out cash in viral videos, projecting a luxury lifestyle to his followers. He later pleaded guilty to wire fraud, conspiracy, and money laundering — running a Ponzi-type scheme that defrauded victims of at least $8 million. Then there was the Florida TikToker who claimed she went from a homeless shelter to earning $200,000 a month, sold a permanent makeup course for $6,000, and then canceled the night before it was supposed to start — blocking students who asked for refunds.

These are not anomalies. They’re the business model with the mask off.

Here’s the tell. Always has been. The person genuinely making money from a thing is usually too busy doing the thing to spend their entire day filming themselves doing the thing. Real operators are boring online. They post quarterly, if that. They don’t need you to believe in them. The algorithm is not their income stream. You are not their income stream.

But the person whose primary revenue is your belief in their revenue? They cannot stop posting. Every day, a new screenshot. A new testimonial. A new “I almost didn’t share this but—” followed immediately by them sharing it. The urgency never ends because the urgency is the product.

Elegance is knowing the difference between someone building something and someone performing something. One of them smells like ambition. The other one smells like a rented car interior and mild desperation.

Return the car. Exit the funnel. Keep your money.

— Aūna Millér
Creator of Rooted & Rude and The Daily F🍸ckcabulary